Check out the report as Tim took on 3 other men on Premier Wrestling’s debut show:
[And we swoosh-pan, finally, to the ring. A familiar, ruddy figure gets up and into the ring, without any sort of microphone whatsoever. He gets a fairly big ovation all on his own.]
BUXTON: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN- THIS IS THE FIRST EVER PREMIER BATTLE-ROYAL! THE EVENT IS WON WHEN ONE MAN REMAINS IN THE RING- ALL OTHERS HAVING BEEN THROWN FROM THE RING, OVER THE TOP ROPE, TO THE FLOOR!
AND NOW, INTRODUCING OUR CONTESTANTS!
[“Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO starts to play, and the crowd- who must have heard already, start heaping “Boos”, “Go home!”s and more unprintable language, down on the incoming Giani di Luca.]
[His own cameras file through the curtains, first, followed by a way-past Premier-budget blast of indoor pyro that he must have had paid for specially. Di Luca comes through the curtains,and pauses for crowd reaction…]
Fan: Wanker!
[…which he ignores. He riles the crowd up as he fist pumps while jogging down to the ring. He jumps onto the ring apron and soaks in the audience reaction (such as it is) before climbing under the top rope.]
BUXTON: FIRST! FROM THE CHANNEL ISLAND OF JERSEY- SIGNORE GIANI DI LUCA! Di LUCA!
[from the announce table, even Ken groans a little, and he’s the one trying to keep things serious.]
Ellis: Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize- Leonard Buxton, our ring announcer, probably did not receive new information before showtime. It won’t happen again, we promise…
[Giani bounces from the ropes, then runs over to the far turnbuckle and raises his fist high in the air for his camera crew. He leaps down and jogs in place, as contestant #2 enters…]
BUXTON: AND NOW, INTRODUCING- FROM NOTTINGHAM! “THE MORAL DILEMMA”, J SUMMERS! SUMMERS!
[The opening riff of “Me Against the World” by Simple Plan fills the arena. The lights go out. As the first words kick in, J Summers appears from the back dressed in a colourful leather jacket and acid-washed jeans, lightly hunched with one hand in the air. He’s certainly benefitting from Giani’s lead-in.]
Coleman: This lot’s got their heads screwed-on right.
[As the music continues, J wanders to the ring, flashing a quick smile at those fans who shout his name and picking a few out to say a few words to. As the chorus kicks in it seems to motivate J and opposed to his slow entrance he is now fizzing with life. J rolls his neck a few times before shaking hands with the referee and proceeding to remove his jacket and jeans. People cheer.]
Coleman: I spoke too soon- what is this, a strip-bar? Give us a break, people!
[The iconic intro to the Clash’s “London Calling” brings the crowd to their feet.]
BUXTON: AND NOW, INTRODUCING- FROM LEWISHAM, SOUTH LONDON! DAVYY! THATCHER! THATCHER!
[Thatcher breaks out onto the entrance ramp as the fans sing along to the classic anthem. Clad in the familiar colors of the Union Jack on his pleather board shorts, Thatcher jogs to the ring all the while pumping up the fans with hand slaps and shouts of encouragement.]
[Thatcher leaps up on to the apron and then slingshots over the top rope with a perfect front flip. He dashes to the corner and sings along with the crowd. He and Summers eye eachother, warily.]
[“Never Will I Break” by 3 Doors Down begins to play, and the crowd is already cheering like the next man’s already here….]
BUXTON: AND, THE FINAL CONTESTANT! ALL THE WAY FROM SOUTHAMPTON! TIM! WORTHINGTON! WORTHINGTON!
[ He stands at the entrance to the room, and looks out at the fans with a smile on his face. He then starts to walk down to the ring, high-fiving fans all the way down. He walks up the ring steps, climbs into the ring, ‘tours’ all four corners, then raises his right arm to a chorus of cheers.]
Ellis: Clearly, the crowd’s favourites seem to be Worthington and Summers- each for different reasons. Summers, of course, triumphant in the first-ever Premier match, and Worthington coming into this match with a tremendous reputation…
[Mr Buxton Leaves.]
Coleman: In about three seconds, all that stops meaning ANYTHING.
[All four men are looking around at each-other, cautiously. The bell rings, and the crowd starts shouting, Not chanting- they’re all yelling different things. It’s mayhem.]
*DING!*
Ellis: Di Luca goes for Summers! Worthington and Thatcher! Thatcher with a feinted leg-dive on Worthington that Worthington is NOT falling for, as (in the other corner) Giani-
Coleman (interrupting): Are we on radio? Are these people blind? Don’t call every move- you’re wasting your breath!
Ellis (cowed a bit): Alright.
Coleman: The American’s the big man- physically- but look at these head-games he’s playing!
[Giani hustles around the ring, psyching out the other three men standing in the ring. He jogs toward J Summers, but as soon as he flinches, Giani jogs backward, fist pumping in the air.]
Coleman: I ask you- is that a Champion?
Ellis: I should try to add, here that Mr Di Luca IS a legitimate member of the Premier roster- but Worthington has Thatcher, and he’s using his size advantage to good effect!
[Worthington is driving Davy back- on sheer mass. He doesn’t need technique, yet. Di Luca just watches this power-struggle, then smiles as “The Moral Dilemma” charges him with an attempted leaping manoevre. Giani dodges it but uses the momentum to slam Summers into the turnbuckle hard.]
[The crowd, despite themselves, “ooh”, but get right back on Giani afterwards.]
Coleman: AS I said, he’s got the physical gifts, here- twenty pounds on even the next-biggest man in the ring! He’s a monster in there!
[As Summers recovers, di Luca bounces off of the opposite ropes and smacks against Worthington and Thatcher with a body avalanche, taking them BOTH out. ]
[The crowd is into this, already, and they’re roaring as Giani stomps around the ring and shouts “WHO SAW THAT? SICK BRO!”]
[The audience get even louder, as he turns around and catches a kick to the gut from Summers, followed up by a rolling neckbreaker, crashing Di Luca hard against the canvas. Giani holds the back of his head, surprised, as Summers silently re-enacts the stomping-around to great appreciation.]
Ellis: Summers, possessed of a great sense of sportsmanship, but not afraid to take a moment for the fans….
[Thatcher, up now, catches him with a clothesline]
Coleman: Well, he SHOULD be!
[Worthington is up, right behind Thatcher, preventing any sort of followup with a sort of sleeper hold.]
Ellis: Worthington, that ring-veteran, cleanly but cleverly tak-
Coleman: What’d I tell you? Shtum! “He’s got a sleeper on”, we don’t need Wordsworth about Worthington…but not for long.
[Thatcher, quickly, catches the veteran Worthington off-guard with a surprise standing switch. Worthington, for his part, blocks an attempted suplex by backrolling through- if it were a pinning sort of match, it’d put Davy in real trouble…]
[Meanwhile, Giani’s made it back to a three-point stance and goes right back to work on Summers, attempting to lift him into a Military Press Slam, that almost he almost instantly regrets when Summers is able writhe free and, dropping, fire off an enzuigiri FROM the Military Press position. ]
Crowd: [Amazed- pounding their feet and the vinyl ‘drape’ over the ring-barrier.]
[Summers then goes on to land on his feet, and launch a fast European-style uppercut at Worthington, who was setting Thatcher up for “Hope and Glory”, Worthington’s version of the Rocker Dropper/Fameasser.]
Ellis: Summers, on an incredible run- There goes Thatcher!
[Summers, taking advantage, launches Thatcher over the top rope. He’s almost instantly set upon by Worthington, who hits him with a Reverse DDT. At the last possible second, Davy catches a piece of the top rope in one of his hands saving him from imminent elimination from the match.]
Ellis: Davy stays alive!
[Meanwhile, Worthington, with the upper hand, is setting Summers up…]
Coleman: Watch this! Tim’s sat his man up,and he’s rebounding for a Clothesline…
[Tim does land a Sidewinder Lariat to the side of Summers’ head…. Right before looking up to see Di Luca coming the other direction with a Lariat of his own that lifts the veteran right off his feet, before crashing to the mat.]
(The crowd is LOVING this- even the ones still booing are into this in a good way.)
Ellis: Giani, going to bail Worthington out of the rin- No, again, here’s Davy Thatcher! Real tenacity from the smaller man, and the crowd is really warming up to him now, as he-
Coleman: He’s got the American on the ropes! Not much science TO it, to call…!
Ellis: Indeed, yes, but di Luca’s setting his weight down, making Thatcher struggle for every inch of this… and now Summers- temporary truce- joining in!
[Teetering on the top rope, Giani holds on for dear life. He continuously shakes his head, shouting “NO!” He wraps his legs around the ropes as Summers and Thatcher work hard to pry him off and send him to the ground. ]
Ellis: I’m taken with how quickly di Luca’s been the focus of this match so far
Coleman: Basic weight vs weight- he’s the biggest man in there, and he knows it.
[He swings himself back in under the top rope, but drags Summers with him. He thinks he has eliminated Summers as he rams into Thatcher with a shoulder-butt, staggering him slightly. Summers is actually steadying himself on the apron.]
Coleman:For all I know, he can’t really wrestle at all, but this isn’t that sort of match. Here, he’s got all sorts of advantage-
[The crowd is shouting in anticipation as Summers leans back to catapult himself back in. Giani turns around just in time to see him, and he ducks down, sending Summers into Thatcher. Thatcher catches his rival and sets up for a sort of Samoan Drop variation…
[…until Giani dropkicks him to the ground, sending Summers across the ring.]
(The crowd shouts out, again….)
Giani: “Now THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT!”
[…because Worthington is upon him, and…]
Ellis: MASTERFUL Russian Legsweep by Tim Worthington!
Coleman: “now THAT’S what I’M Talkin’ bout!”
[It’s a scene, as Summers is bailed almost out of the ring, Thatcher’s down, Giani’s down, and Tim’s just on his feet again. Setting Giani up, he rockets him to the mat with an Exploder Suplex that bounces di Luca a few inches off the canvas with its impact.]
[Meanwhile, Thatcher doubles over Summers with a kick to the midsection, hammerlocks one of Summers’ arms, and lifts him into the air. Davy throws himself backwards…]
Crowd: OHHH!
Coleman:Bloody Hell! What a DDT!
[…and bails Summers out of the ring before anything else can happen!]
Ellis: And the rivalry between Summers and Thatcher continues, as the first body flies to the mats!
[As Thatcher recovers (standing hands-on-knees for a moment), Worthington and di Luca are still going at it. Giani’s recovered enough to get free with a couple of slightly-weakened elbows.]
Ellis: Giani di Luca, fighting, but somewhat weakened by those high-impact manoevres…
[Worthington takes a moment from attacking di Luca to toss Thatcher, as well- with mixed results, as Thatcher’s hanging on by a thread. Returning to business, Worthington Irish Whips di Luca.]
[Giani bounces off the ropes, heading right for Worthington, who goes for a clothesline. Di Luca ducks, bounces off the far ropes, and stops just in time to avoid a nasty kick. Again, Thatcher kips in. di Luca slips past Worthington, and then starts jogging a little in place. He throws a right jab, followed by a quick left, then a right. He fist pumps, spinning around quickly in a circle before landing a hard right hook to the side of Thatcher’s head. Giani stops and poses as the crowd reacts.]
[He picks a somewhat-stunned Worthington up on his shoulders and begins walking over toward the ropes where he dumps him over the top rope.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t see Thatcher coming at him…]
Ellis: And the timing on that Lungblower could NOT have been better!
[Worthington managed to avoid having both feet touch the floor, and is holding onto the middle rope, reaching for the top. At that moment, Thatcher rebounds Di Luca off the far ropes, into a too-optimistic version of a Back Body Drop that doesn’t quite send di Luca over the ropes, but definitely takes him off his feet.]
Ellis: Thatcher- by now the smallest man still in this match- is simply running riot!
[Thatcher, using a rock-simple biel throw, manages to knock Di Luca INTO the returning Worthington, causing Worthington to drop to the outside and Di Luca to hang over the ring.]
Ellis: Does that count as two ‘kills’ by Thatcher?
Coleman: No- di Luca got it, it’s his. And when Worthington gets his hands on him, he’ll wish he hadn’t! But for now, it’s Di Luca and Thatcher!
[The last two men are in the ring with eachother, fighting. Giani, using his size advantage to great effect, simply shoves Thatcher away- but the South Londoner just pushes his way back into the fight. Giani nails Thatcher with a downward hammerfist, then (again) goes for a Military Press Slam. As he moves forward, Thatcher slips back, into an attempted Crucifix drive. Di Luca, with all his strength, manages to resist the ‘gravity drop’ of the Crucifix Driver, and almost turns it into a Samoan Drop before Thatcher can escape.]
Ellis: Di Luca with a clothesline- ducked to the side, by Thatcher, who tries to get a standing armbar out of it- no luck for Thatcher.
Di Luca, Irish whipping Thatcher into the ropes- on the move now, with another lariat- right against the ropes- ]
Crowd: (bursts into applause, then stomps and whistles, as-)
Ellis: And a Headscissors takedown takes Giani di Luca over the top ropes!
[THere’s NOBODY left in the ring, as a last-ditch effort by Thatcher ends up almost botching. Thatcher manages to pull Di Luca out of the ring, using a twisting headscissors, but at the same time, is carried through on the momentum. Giani’s feet touch the ground first (as Thatcher hits the mats outside with his back, first) and-]
BUXTON: HERE IS YOUR WINNER- DAVY! THATCHER!