Episode 23: Hunter’s Graduation
[A conference room in the Brandcorp headquarters. In the room are Jackie Sweets, Director of New Talent for the House of Pain, his immediate boss Stephen Clay who serves as the overall Talent Director of the MWA and trainers Larry Gowan and Dr. J and special guest Tim Worthington. The door opens and John Patrick walks in without an invitation. Sweets in no uncertain terms lets him know his presence is not required or desired.]
Sweets- Oh for fuck’s sake! Haven’t I seen enough of your face today? I thought you couldn’t enter a room unless invited! I guess that’s one more vampire myth shot to shit.
Patrick- So funny, except you’re not.
Sweets- Still the question remains, what the hell are you doing here? You ain’t staff and you don’t go to Karaoke with us so why am I seeing your face?
Patrick- Alarra Brand and Carolyn Baker made it clear to your dumb ass that I have access to the talent to scout and I can shadow you and audit how you run the place. Normally I could give a fuck how you attempt to run this place into the ground but I see Tim Worthington here so I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that this has something to do with Hunter Lewis and his graduation. So I’m making it my business.
Worthington- Right, see John what i’m failing to understand is what bloody business it is of yours. I started that lad’s training as a favor to his dad and I directed him here to finish up. Stevie filled me in about your little side deal with the MWA, but what does that have to do with Hunter? When he graduates….
Patrick- He’s a Tier 3 student. He’s under no obligation to sign a contract with the MWA. He’s a grown man who can make his own decisions. If he chooses to go elsewhere he can.
Worthington- And I suppose by elsewhere you mean your New Millennium Wrestling?
Sweets- And I am the only one who thinks that sounds derivative? Help a brotha out here. It’s derivative right?
Patrick- Go to hell Sweets! You wouldn’t know a good idea if it bit you. If Hunter wants to face a real challenge then we would welcome him.
Clay- John, no one is disputing that. Why are you making an issue when there isn’t one?
Patrick- I’m sick of it! Sick of the disrespect and sick of the unprofessional behaviour. Since I’ve been auditing this place I’ve seen so much grab-assing and goofing off. It’s filled with so called legacies. Just because your parents are wrestlers shouldn’t get you a free pass to anything just like filling your staff with your flunkies shouldn’t be the way.
Sweets- You think these guys are my flunkies? They never listen to a word I say. Dr. J, didn’t I tell you to get the staff donuts from Greenbush bakery?
Dr. J- Yeah you did, but your taste sucks so I get them from Zippy Lube.
Sweets- And how has that worked out? A guy suing us for assault. See, they don’t listen.
Dr J- Meg said her husband was gonna handle it. I ….say we give it….some time.
Patrick- This is what I’m talking about Clay, no professionalism. It’s all just a joke to Sweets. And Worthington, I would think you would want better than that for the kid you trained.
(Before Tim can respond Larry Gowan starts laughing)
Gowan- So there it is, huh? You thought you had a shot at poaching Hunter and now you’re doubting yourself. He’s a smart kid. Why would he pass up a chance to wrestle for the top wrestling company out there to throw in with you?
Patrick- Because in the MWA he’ll wait in line for a shot, waiting on the Booking Committee to notice him. Sean McBride and myself see his potential and we won’t let it go to waste.
Sweets- Speaking of Sean, he’s been awfully quiet lately. Maybe he’s wondering if you two didn’t write a check you know you can’t cash. Now that Josh Swanson asked out of the Trios match, maybe Sean isn’t too keen on getting in the ring with the best the MWA has to offer.
(John keeps quiet about the recent heart attack suffered by McBride but can’t let the Swanson dig slide)
Patrick- Please! You, Griggs and Grrrrr? You weren’t the best the MWA had to offer twenty years ago and you sure as hell aren’t now. Swanson made a mistake, but he’s made a career of making mistakes.
Dr. J- I think he’s made a great choice. It’s only been a little while but he’s really fitting in. The kids are learning a lot from him.
Gowan- Save it Doc, Japles isn’t listening. Hunter has been my prize student since he walked in the door. He’s almost ready to graduate but John here has been feeding him BS that we’re holding him back. He just doesn’t want us developing Hunter, but he has no problem having us train him because he knows there’s nowhere better than the House of Pain. I’m surprised his own kid hasn’t enrolled.
Patrick- No way in hell would I ever let you dipshits train my kid! I’ve watched Hunter and that kid is ready! You are holding him back! I know and he knows it.
Clay- It’s pretty simple John. Students enroll and when the staff decides they are ready, then they graduate. It’s been the same at the House of Pain for twenty years……minus the years that Johnny Grrrrr used it to launder money. Or when Porkchop Poe used it to launder money. Or when Ian Payne used it to launder money. But we all know Jackie would never do that because that’s not the kind of guy he is.
Gowan- Plus he’s not smart enough to launder anything but his dirty Zubaz pants.
Sweets- Thanks Larry………..wait….
Worthington- Why don’t we put it to a vote. It’s usually the power of three that decides right Stevie?
Clay- The Power of Three decides a lot but in this case yeah. Larry, what do you think? You’re Hunter’s primary, is he ready to graduate?
(Gowan thinks it over, not wanting to give Patrick any hope, but he relents)
Gowan- Yeah, he’s ready. The little things he’s lacking he can pick up easily enough from other workers. He’s a quick study and that alone is worth its weight in gold.
Patrick- See I told …..
Clay- John, we’re not done. You’re here as a courtesy because of Jackie’s screw-up….
Sweets- I didn’t even do anything. I’m tired of gettin’ shit for it!
Clay- Doc, what do you think?
Dr J- Well Skip…….the thing is………he’s definitely good at improvising…….his fundamentals are sound……. Not exactly the strongest but he’s good with leverage……….hmmmmm……..
Patrick- Jesus Christ Treebeard! While we’re young!
Dr J- Fuck off Patrick! Anything worth doing is worth taking a long time to do it. I’d like to see him be a little safer ….. But yeah….. No, I’m just not sure he’s ready.
Patrick- Finally. A fucked up opinion but at least you finally got it out.
(Dr J gets up to throttle Patrick but Clay calms the situation down.)
Clay- Jackie, you’re the tie breaker.
Sweets- Well that’s easy. No! For exactly the reason Doc said, he’s too reckless. I’m worried for the kid and I’m worried for his opponents. If he doesn’t start paying attention he is gonna hurt himself or someone else.
Patrick- Ain’t that the point? Hurt your opponent before they hurt you I always say.
Sweets- well not everyone is immortal like you Patrick.
Patrick- Will you give it a goddamn rest with that shit?
Sweets- No I won’t. Look maybe you don’t worry about hurting your opponents but some people have a conscience. When the match is over some of us maintain friendships. I’ve wrestled everyone in this room and I’ve never tried to end someone’s career, not even yours Patrick. Hell not even Andersen and if anyone had it coming it was that asshole, fucking burning me in a ring of fire. Hunter is a good kid but he’s got an attitude and a mean streak. He’s formed a good friendship with Tyler Scott but what if a year from now they have to wrestle and he gets reckless in the ring? If he hurts a friend he’ll carry around that guilt for the rest of his life. Plus, he hesitates when he turns around.
Gowan- That’s for sure, he’s a deer in the headlights.
Dr J- Yeah I hate to admit it but he’s …..a little…..slow at reacting….after a turn.
Patrick- He’s a little slow? You’re calling someone else slow?
Dr J- I’ll stretch the shit out of you!
(Clay once again settles the crew down)
Clay- Well I guess it’s 2-1 against him graduating….
Dr J- well now I’m not so sure. Maybe I was rushing my decision.
Patrick- You rushing?
Sweets- Fine! I’m sick of arguing about this. He gets his final exam today, right now. Follow me fam. Actually give me two minutes.
(Quizzical looks pass between the men as they give Jackie a moment to make a phone call. Sweets leaves the room and heads to the elevator that leads to the House of Pain with the others in tow. They get to the center ring where currently Lito Kruz is demonstrating a Cross Arm Breaker on Jaleel Lovejoy. Stephen Clay and John Patrick both notice that there are cameras capturing the action but dismiss it as normal procedure. Sweets deftly jumps up on the apron and tells everyone in the surrounding rings to gather for a big moment, seemingly playing for the cameras.)
Sweets- Hunter Lewis, please join me in the ring.
(Hunter looks confused and ambles up to the ring. He slides in and joins Sweets who has moved to the center. Jaleel has dropped out of the ring while Lito leans into a corner.)
Sweets- Hunter, for the last few weeks you’ve been telling everyone who would listen that you’re ready to graduate. Just an hour ago you told me that to my face. That sound about right?
Hunter- Yeah, I know I bloody am.
Sweets- Well then today’s the day kid. If everything goes right shortly you will be an official graduate of the House of Pain.
Hunter- Really? Just like that?
Sweets- Just like that. The pumpkin will turn into Cinderella. Well first you have to pass your final exam. I think everyone knows that to pass your final your trainers pick an opponent and if you beat them it’s all good in the hood. Problem is the trainers in this case can’t agree. Uncle Larry says you’re ready. Doc is undecided. And I say you’re not. But we’re gonna make an exception and let you take your Final anyway. You’re a good kid and you’ve come a long way. I hope you make the most of the moment.
Hunter- Brilliant! I’m ready for anything Jackie. Who’s my opponent?
Sweets- Well I think John Patrick should chime in. You see John has been your biggest proponent of graduating you early. Now he doesn’t work here so I don’t really know why his opinion matters and I’m sure there is no ulterior motive coming from such a fine upstanding member of the wrestling society. So maybe in the spirit of cooperation with his special status here, we should let him weigh in.
(John Patrick seethes at the words directed at him. His reasons for entering into this working relationship with the MWA are many. His new venture with Sean, the NMW, needs the press. It’s hard to break into this sport when a behemoth like the MWA has a stranglehold on the general public and the unlimited resources of Barrett Brand pouring in capital to his vanity project doesn’t help. Plus the House of Pain has a twenty year history of turning out top prospects and as much as he hates to admit it, Jackie Sweets does prepare his students for the sport. Sean McBride’s recent health scare has them on shaky ground and poaching a top talent like Hunter would send ripples through the sport that NMW is the place to be, not to mention it would be a huge “fuck you” to that judgmental prick Sweets. He wonders for a minute if that is his driving reason behind all of this, to one up Sweets, a guy he felt never showed him or his WFW brothers the proper respect. But he really can’t fall back on that. Men like Brian Richman, Punisher, McBride, Maximum Violence, Nick Claffey all had success in the MWA and speak highly of it. Hell, even Lito Kruz is here today after going missing for the better part of 13 years. Even Steve Hughes, the deplorable, fucking Steve Hughes had his glory days in the MWA. Brian Dunkel, possibly the only man more hated than Hughes, even had a moment of grandeur in the company he and his father founded.
But John would be lying if he claimed that it was disrespect from Sweets that was fueling his passion. It’s that he sees a little of himself in Hunter Lewis. They are both second generation wrestlers who had troubling relationships with their fathers. “Playboy” Al Galpin so destroyed his relationship with Hunter that the boy won’t even use his last name. John feels the same way about his own father, Ted Patrick. The man pushed and insulted and was never satisfied with John’s accomplishments. He worries that he may have continued the cycle with his own son Christian. That’s why he wants to see Hunter succeed. It will be showing his old man, both their old men, that you can rise above it. And if there is one thing he learned from his father that he finds of some use it’s that being the smartest man in the room has its advantages. Sweets thinks he put John on the spot but really he played right into his hands. The Trios match at the PPV is still weeks away but what better way to kill two birds with one stone then to have Hunter prove himself against the old man and possibly put him out of action at the same time. At the very least John can get an up close scouting report of what Sweets is still capable of in the ring. The impromptu match in Wichita only served as a teaser of what he can and can’t do anymore. So it’s time to turn the tables on the dimwitted fool.)
Patrick- Well I’m just learning how you do things at the House of Pain but at the Patrick Plant Sean and I evaluate our students the old fashioned way. We get in the ring ourselves. You were a no vote for Hunter so why don’t you step up to the plate and let him prove to everyone and especially you what he’s got?
(There’s a murmur in the assembled crowd. It’s not unusual for Jackie Sweets or the other trainers to get in the ring and run drills with the students, even a little sparring here and there. But an actual Final Exam match? It’s just not done. Jackie smiles and leans over the ropes, looking directly at JP. He gives him the finger then turns to stand face to face with Hunter.)
Sweets- I’m your Huckleberry.
(The students gape at the scene speechless as does Hunter.)
Hunter- I don’t know what that means.
Sweets- It means I’ll do it! Damn! Does no one watch movies anymore?
(Stephen Clay decides to be the lone adult in the room as he hops up on the apron and gives council to his friend of twenty years.)
Clay- Jackie, you sure about this?
Sweets- Yeah why? I ain’t sweat the kid. I ain’t never backed down from a challenge in my whole career……..well except that match with Heather “the Feather” Shannon after Sierra convinced her that I called her “pleasingly plump”. But that was a suicide mission.
(Lito comes over and puts a hand on his friends shoulder)
Lito- But the difference is now that you iz old. I don’t think the best engineers in Litoland can put you back together if Hunter tears you apart.
Sweets- He won’t. I may have lost a step but I can still get it done in the ring.
Clay- Is your will up to date?
Sweets- I’m the comedian Stevie, not you.
Gowan- I don’t know, that was a little on the nose and that nose is a helluva target.
Sweets- I get it, you’ll be in Hunter’s corner for this match.
Gowan- hey, I’m his primary. It’s literally the least I can do.
(Hunter comes over with Tyler Scott seconding him and Jaleel Lovejoy as well. The three young men have built a strong bond over the last months and Jackie is proud of what they have accomplished.)
Hunter- Do you need some time? I mean you know, to get your gear on.
Sweets- I’m always ready, kid.
(Jackie pulls on his tearaway pants and they fly off revealing custom made Zubaz compression shorts and copperfit kneepads.)
Clay- You left the house with those on? Starlett allows that?
Sweets- They’re good for the circulation. At my age, every little bit helps.
Hunter- Well don’t you want to get some boots. Those shoes can’t have much ankle support.
Sweets- Is my name “Broadway” Jim Kennedy? My ankles are on point.
(Jaleel notices for the first time Jackie’s shoes.)
Lovejoy- Are those the new Giannis Freak 7’s?
Sweets- You know it playa. In the exclusive Jackie Sweets purple and silver colorway with the Sweets Heart and lightning bolt logo. Only available with a special code that Giannis personally gave me. After the match I’ll hook you up J-Love.
Lovejoy- Jackie, I asked you not to call me that. Every time you do the guys give me shit. They say you think of me as some chick from the “I Know What You did Last Summer” movies.
Sweets- In theatres now.
(Gowan whispers to Dr. J and Lito)
Gowan- You know he had those shoes made with the Nike My Way App, right? No way they make a limited edition Jackie Sweets colorway. Starlett got those for his birthday.
Sweets- Let’s get this party started. Tristan, we need a ref!
(One of the young students, Tristan Hull, who is training to be a referee if he can’t make it as a wrestler jumps to attention and ties back his mop of hair. He slides in the ring, ready to go as Jackie and Hunter join him. John Patrick grabs a folding chair and sits down as the crowd grows in anticipation of the match.)
End of Part 1
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